It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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