you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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