She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
