on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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