real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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