dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
