I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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