Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
