Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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