Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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