Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
