i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
