What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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