separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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