is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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