Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
