so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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