There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
