that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
