He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
