He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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