oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
