and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
