Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
