She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
