question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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