He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
