If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We have started to decorate penises.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
