your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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