it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize