I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
