i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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