Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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