Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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