I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
one two three fourrrrnication!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
