i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
