I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
