Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
