Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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