Girls should come with a carfax report
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
