Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
