Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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