My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
