Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
