She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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