I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
worst night to have a conscience
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
