sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
