He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
