Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
