so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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