Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
